Revenge is A Dish Best Served...Against Orphans: A look back at the 1972 USSR vs USA Olympic Basketball Final

Thursday January 14th, 2010

16:36pm

MANAS AFB, Bishkek, Kyrgyz Republic

We had the good fortune today to do something extremely special as far as I'm concerned.  Typically when you do these tours or when you are enlisted your opportunities for going off of the base are limited.  But today we were given the chance to participate in an OBR(Off Base Retreat) to the Jany Pahtka School, which is a school and orphange for Kyrgyz children.  

After breakfast at 0800 we met at PERSCO (Personel Support for Contingency Operations) and boarded a bus for the orphange.  The drive took us roughly an hour but this was caused mostly by the fact that the road we traveled was not paved nor was it clear of various types of livestock including cows, cattle, sheep and donkeys.  I don't know whether our look of confusion and surprise was more or less intense than that of the sheperds we passed.  

The road was filled with potholes causing our driver to slow down to ridiculous speeds to avoid sending all of his passengers airborn.  

When we arrived there bunches of children ranging in age from 6 to 15 that came outside to meet us.  They have this beautiful mix of asian and russian heritage that is unlike anything we had ever seen.  As we entered the school the principal welcomed us, "Zdrastvueetee," she said with a smile.  

It dawned on us really quickly that there were no lights on in this school and it was extremely cold.  The bathrooms were outhouses.  The toilets were holes in the ground.  

The principal led us to her office where we all made jokes about what we had done to get sent to the principals office.  From there we walked down a long hallway to their "gym."  We were greeted by 100 young students maybe age 6-9.  They were lined down the wall and across benches.  We learned that these children were the most in need and although we had been told  that we were going to witness the humanitarian aspects of our mission in Asia I really didn't grasp how important this day was going to seem until we were leaving.  

After a moment of standing there.  Americans on one side and Kyrgyz on the other, I decided to walk over and sit down right in the middle of the children and just act like I was one of them waiting for our teacher to give us instruction.  Many of them turned with confused looks on their faces.  But slowly they turned to smiles.  Despite the language barrier, a few of them knew hello and thank you, we were able to communicate through smiles.  It was definitely a Charlie Chaplin type show.  Each child was then called by name and they walked up front where they were given a gift based on some need.  A winter coat, a pair of gloves, a nice warm hat.  We got to stand at the front and hand them to the gifts.  As each one would come up I kind of wondered if they were as scared as I was, not knowing the language but all we had to do was smile and say Spaciba.  And some of them would say it back.  Some would try to say thank you.  In my opinion their thank you was much better than my spaciba.  

After the gifts had been given out two of the girls walked to the front and sang a song for us.  We then pulled out lareg bags of candy and walked around.  At first they would hesitate to take one but by the time we left hours later they were walking with us through the halls, trading high fives, smiles and mini tootise rolls.  We left the gym and began walking the halls and thats when we first saw a few of the upperclassmen.  

It occurred to me how similar we all are.  The little kids freaking out about candy.  The principals asking them to slow down and not to run.  The older kids hanging in packs, the guys acting cool and the girls giggling.  

The power was off.  The toilets were as far as any of us are concerned disgusting and these kids were smiling.  

We walked from classroom to classroom interrupting lessons to hand out more candy.  In one room I hung out and colored with some kids for a bit and all I could think was, "what brand of colored pencil is this and can Buzzer send these kids some Bic schwag?"  We went to the library and saw their makeshift shelves for their tattered books.  And this I will say, Math didn't look any easier in Kyrgyz.  

As we were leaving the library our translator turned to us and said, "the children were unable to go to the museum today. Would you guys play basketball with them?"  

Immediately my mind went to the Summer Olympics of 1972 in Munich.  The Gold Medal Game between the Soviets and the USA.  And today a chance for redemption.  As we all know Kyrgyzstan was part of the Soviet Union at that time so naturally beating a group of 11th graders would even the score.  My logic is clear and so is my conscience.

To be fair we thought this was just going to be a friendly game but it became very apparent after they handled the opening tip that we were about to get embarrased if we didn't start playing some smart ACC style hoops.   After controling the tip they proceeded to head down court, dish the ball to their stud center who promptly pulled up from downtown and swished a 3 pointer.  They then stole the ball and hit another quick bucket.  That quick we were down 5 - 0.  We called a timeout, sub'd a player and decided to fall back into a soft 1-2-1 zone.  

*note - the gym was so small that we were playing 4 on 4.  

Apparently word was spreading around the school because the door to the gym was slowly being packed with kids.  They lined the benches on both sides.  They were ten rows deep going out the door and they were definitely a factor.  

Consider the tale of the tape.  4 11th grade basketball players vs. 2 members of the US Air Force and 2 seriously out of shape comedians, one of whom was playing in his docksiders.  The floor was bumpy.  The wood was rough.  The ball was stripped of any grip.  The hoop was higher than usual.  And possibly the most dangerous factor of all, they were used to all of it. 

The crowd was seriously on there side, despite all of the goodwill we had just delivered, which honestly, I don't blame them.  Snickers bar or not.  A win here would do serious things for the morale at an orphange.  

Sadly for the school we weren't just going to roll over.  We regrouped.  We remembered what got us to this point which of course was quitting athletics at a young age, choosing parts in musicals like Guy #42 in Guys and Dolls, leaving a lucrative career in broadcasting, attempting to tell jokes and ultimately doing shows in countries we had never even heard of before not to mention we just really took it upon ourselves to work the ball around.  No silly shots.  3 passes before a shot.  Look for the outlet on a turnover.  We weren't going to outrun these kids but we certainly could play solid D and make them beat us.  

The score was close with about 5 minutes left when their big man swished another long range jumper.  We were down two when things started going our way.  A quick layup was followed by a steal and another twisting spinning scoop shot by our Air Force buddy.   The years I spent in my driveway with my dad shooting hoops over a broomstick came in handy on a couple of plays with Drago in my face.  My buddy Johnny took a hard foul on his way to the hoop and despite missing both free throws, stole the ball and had a nice assist.  

However one of the moments I'll never forget and I actually have video of happened next.  The Kyrgyz brought the ball down and made one quick pass to the corner near the door where the students were piled deep watching the game.  Their player turned and went up for a shot and what can I say, I just went up with him, timed it right as the ball left his hands and spiked the ball into the crowd.  

My feeling of satisfaction quickly turned to embarrassment and it was specifically at this moment that I remembered that this game had nothing to do with the 72 Olympic Games.  These kids were just kids.  Not only kids but orphans who had probably never won anything before in their lives and on a day when they are smiling we decided to come into their unheated gym, with its bumpy floor and oddly shaped paint area and play like a bunch of drunk uncles in a game of two hand touch.  The only thing that would have made this seem more like Thanksgiving day was if I had had a half case of Natty Light cans under one arm. 

I have never been so ashamed of myself.  

My apologies to their team. 

But all I can say is, "You bring that shit into my house, Ima buy it a seat in section 201."

Honestly, it was a fantastic day and one that I'll never forget.  

The show last night was awesome.  Johnny and Lauren are killing it.  The crowds have been digging it and as usual their appreciation for what we're doing is just an added bonus as we show them how much we appreciate what it is they are doing.  

Thanks MANAS... Tomorrow we're off to UAE.